Another day, another fury-filled tweet from President Donald Trump, this time aimed at President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, warning him to “NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN.”
To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 23, 2018
POTUS’ tweet was penned in response to Rouhani’s address to Iranian diplomats on Sunday. According to CNN‘s coverage, Rouhani cautioned, “America should know that peace with Iran is the mother of all peace, and war with Iran is the mother of all wars.” His comments come after the Trump administration announced the United States would be quitting the Iran nuclear deal. Rouhani added a message to Trump: “Do not play with the lion’s tail, because you will regret it eternally.”
Once Trump had delivered his caps lock-loaded reply yesterday, the internet jumped on the opportunity to craft the most ridiculous alternatives. Here are some of the best.
To Iranian President Rouhani: LOSING MY SIGHT, LOSING MY MIND, WISH SOMEBODY WOULD TELL ME I’M FINE, NOTHING’S ALRIGHT, NOTHING IS FINE, I’M RUNNING AND IM CRYING. CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT.
— Papa Roach (@paparoach) July 23, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD AND THEYRE LIKE, ITS BETTER THAN YOURS. DAMN RIGHT ITS BETTER THAN YOURS. I COULD TEACH YOU, BUT I HAVE TO CHARGE.
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) July 23, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: YO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT I WANNA HUH I WANNA HUH I WANNA HUH I WANNA
— Lindsay Ellis (@thelindsayellis) July 23, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR? I AM ABSOUTELY DISGUSTED! YOU'RE FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER *TOE* OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!!
— Sarah Foreman (@SayWah92) July 24, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME I AIN'T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED SHE WAS LOOKING KIND OF DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB IN THE SHAPE OF AN "L" ON HER FOREHEAD. WELL THE YEARS START COMING AND THEY DONT STOP COMING FED TO THE
— McNeil (@Reflog_18) July 23, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: IT STARTED OUT WITH A KISS HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS IT WAS ONLY A KISS IT WAS ONLY A KISS NOW IM FALLING ASLEEP AND SHE’S CALLING A CAB WHILE HE’S HAVING A SMOKE AND SHE’S TAKING A DRAG NOW THEY’RE GOING TO BED AND MY STOMACH IS SICK AND ITS ALL —
— Michael Janssen (@MJanssen97) July 24, 2018
To Iranian President Rouhani: I DON'T GET THE BIG DEAL WITH SHARK WEEK. LAST YEAR MICHAEL PHELPS WAS SUPPOSED TO RACE A SHARK, IT WAS JUST A SIMULATION. AND THEY OBSESS ABOUT JAWS SO MUCH, NOW THEY'RE LOOKING FOR HIS GRANDSON? I JUST DON'T BUY IT, CAN'T GET THE APP TO WORK ANYWAY
— Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) July 23, 2018
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Next, Jimmy Kimmel tricking people into thinking they’re high is super cringe.